


Breathing Deep

by Rainbow_Transform



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Chidi's Parents love him, Children, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Grandparents & Grandchildren, Love, Marriage, Parental Parents are parental, Post-Finale, and who knows if he did tell his parents?, but he did through the door, the door, they probably heard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:49:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22721248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainbow_Transform/pseuds/Rainbow_Transform
Summary: It has been thirteen million, eight thousand, three hundred and fifty-eight Jeremy Bearimys since her baby walked through the End. It’s been eight million, sixty thousand, two hundred and sixty-five Jeremies since her baby’s wife walked through. It’s been eight hundred Jeremies since her own husband told her he was ready and they sat together on the bench for Jeremies before he finally got up and walked through.(They left behind parents, friends, and people who loved them. Isn't it normal to grieve that you have lost someone? But, his mother never wanted to grief twice.)
Relationships: Chidi Anagonye & Parents, Chidi Anagonye/Eleanor Shellstrop, Chidi Anagonye/Original Character(s), Chidi Anagonye/Simone Garnett
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	Breathing Deep

**Author's Note:**

> SURPRISE, MOTHER FORKERS, IT'S ME. Anyway, they left behind a bunch of people when they leave. Like, so many people. These are going to be a bunch of oneshots filled in with what would have happened here and there and everywhere. 
> 
> I don't think we'd ever actually gotten a name for Chidi's mother, so I call her "Efe." There will be warnings at the beginnings of each chapter, and I will update the tags whenever I post okey? Okay.

It has been thirteen million, eight thousand, three hundred and fifty-eight Jeremy Bearimys since her baby walked through the End. It’s been eight million, sixty thousand, two hundred and sixty-five Jeremies since her baby’s wife walked through. It’s been eight hundred Jeremies since her own husband told her he was ready and they sat together on the bench for Jeremies before he finally got up and walked through. And damn, if it doesn’t hurt that Efe is still searching for her Peace. She loves her baby, his wife, and her husband. She wants to join them, and yet, she can’t.

She’s not ready for it. Her heart is hurting and if she wasn’t already dead Ndeye would swear that she’d die from it. She tried to go to Michael but he was missing. Instead, she was greeted with Janet, Chidi’s friend. “Michael isn’t available right now,” she’d claimed. “Any complaints, or suggestions are to be given to me until further notice.”

“I don’t know my peace,” Ndeye tells Janet. “And I want to walk through the door. But I’m not ready.”

“Then do everything, once more.” Janet suggests. “Maybe there’s just something that wasn’t done before.”

* * *

She does take Janet's suggestion, and does everything all over again. She re-meets her old classmates, connects with her sisters and brother, sits at the door's edge and remembers her family. She plays around with everyone, and even restarts her painting again, sketching and drawing and doing everything. She spends hours at the water’s edge staring at the trees and adding more and more details. 

She plays games that she'd never have considered, eats unhealthy food with an unlimited appetite and takes millions of _Five-Year-Old_ energy candy, pops them in like there’s no tomorrow. She also pushes herself to go talk with her ancestors, and they touched her shoulder and whispered words of wisdom, love, and memories into her ear. “We,” the leader of her father's family told her, “we were slaves, working from dawn until dusk to the whip and pleasure of a white man. You, our daughter, are one of us and you have grown into a wonderful young woman. Your world has grown and became better than ours, and yet somehow worse as well. But we admire you, because you have the ability to speak out and not get punished as we did. And we, are glad that you have become this strong woman. You are a good wife, and you would have become a good leader.” They all squeezed her arm, kissed her cheeks, and her grandmother wiped away her tears.

“Surprised, my granddaughter?” She asked. “We are proud people, and we encourage our children to go forth and find their own path in the world. Your father did it, didn’t he?”

And Ndeye’s mind connected the dots.

* * *

She reconnects with her parents (who haven’t gone through the door either). They’re happy to see their runaway daughter return home, and they ask if she was happy married to Emeka. 

“I was,” she said slowly. “We argued when we had Chidi for a bit, but it was just a rough patch we’d worked through.”

Her mother dropped a plate on the ground and it shattered while they looked at her with shock. “A grandchild?” Her father whispered. Ndeye nodded, furrowing her brow. 

“Yes,” she said. “I didn’t realize this was so important to you that you’d drop a plate. There’s glass everywhere.” A pitter-patter of footsteps comes running into the room and Ndeye’s first thought is to scream at them to stop. The girl does and Ndeye has to do a double take. 

“My child,” her father says, touching her shoulder. “ _Il faut qu'on parle_.”

* * *

The girl is Ndeye, as a child. “The Good Place listens to your every wish, you know. And when we’d finally entered they read our thoughts about raising you. The right way.”

“So, what?” Ndeye asked. “She’s just a girl now and she never grows?”

“Of course not.” Her mother says, frowning. “She is a girl right now, see? Almost five. She grows every Jereminy, you see? And when she becomes the age you left us, she goes back to being a baby.” She coos over Not-Ndeye who smiles back at her fake mother with fake happiness. “And we’re hoping that one day, she’s going to grow up to become you.” Her mother kisses Not-Ndeye’s forehead. Ndeye swallows and feels a growl build in her throat. 

“So, you…” she says, taking a deep breath. “You’ve been… pretending that you’re being a good parent just by, you know, faking a baby through sixteen-year-old me?”

“You make it sound bad,” her father says. “This is fulfilling to us, Ndeye. Shouldn’t that make you happy? We believe that once Child-Ndeye grows up into you we will be able to achieve our Peace. Do you understand, _Ma fille_?”

Ndeye gets up, and swallows. “Jesus, _Maman._ Why did I come here? I knew it’d be wrong.”

“‘Wrong’?” Her mother repeated. “Is it wrong that we’d love our children so much we’d rather have our children back to their childhood? Every single one of your siblings joined us, and then exited. They knew what was happening and their Shadows grew up into lovely teenagers-then-adults and ‘moved’ out. Ndeye, it’s your Shadow that isn’t moving on.”

“No duh, Mom,” Ndeye says, kneeling next to her Shadow. “It’s because I don’t regret doing what I’d done, or did. I loved my husband, and I loved my son.”

“Son!” Her father suddenly jumped in. “We have a grandchild! Will he come by and say hello?”

“It’s too late,” Ndeye replies, her Shadow’s head tilting the opposite way of hers. “He’s already achieved his Peace and walked through the Door.”

Her mother purses her lips. “Is that why you’re here, Ndeye?” She asked. “Are you trying to go through the Door?”

“I’m trying to achieve my Peace, yes,” Ndeye says. “And I’m thinking it’s through you guys.”

“Ndeye,” her father gestures for her to sit down. “Baby,” Not-Ndeye turns her head. “Go upstairs to your room. Go play with the toys that we’ve gotten you.” The Shadow nods her head before running up the stairs. “Now, _fille,_ we may speak freely. The Door is just another word for ‘suicide’ you see?”

Ndeye sighs. “It isn’t, Dad,” she says. “For the simple reason that you’re still existing, just in a different form of yourself. It’s your existence, it’s you. Your matter is just returning from where it came from. And who knows? Maybe… maybe you will come back. But as something else. Like Chidi said, it’s just a wave returning to the Ocean. And who’s to say that wave won’t come back⸺as something else? Rain, snow, sleet, hail? Another wave? We won’t know until we go through, Daddy.”

Her mother’s face looked pinched. “Come,” she said. “Lunch is ready, okay? And we’ll continue this conversation at another time, okay? Ready, Ndeye?”

She stands up, brushes some imaginary dirt off her clothes (because the good place isn’t dirty and never can be) and shakes her head. “No,” she said. “I’m not. I’m going to go. Maybe next time.”

And she leaves.

* * *

 _Grandson,_ she turns the word over in her mind. _My grandson. Granddaughter? My granddaughter._ Her baby never did give her grandchildren, no matter how much they wanted it. He’d never settled for any girl, mostly because they either were annoyed at his talking, annoyed at his morals, or just plain annoying to him. The closest, she thinks, was Simone; and then they’d all died. Then her baby’s wife, Eleanor. It gives her an idea. “Janet,” she calls softly, and her Janet comes in with the traditional _bing._ “Is there a way that I can, you know, see something else?”

Janet doesn’t frown. “I don’t know what you mean,” she says. 

“Could I see… say, if Chidi didn’t die? Could I do that?”

“Yes.” Janet’s smile never leaves her face. “But, I do not think that is wise.” 

“It will give me peace,” she tries to sway the robot’s mind and it’s smile feels like nothing. 

“Of course,” it says before gifting Ndeye a tablet. “Just tell you what you’d like to see and it’ll give it to you.” Ndeye nods, and the Janet disappears with her _bing,_ not realizing that she’d probably just given Ndeye her Peace.

**Author's Note:**

> IT WAS JUST PART ONE, I SWEAR TO THE PUPPER IN THE SKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
> 
> It shall return, soon. Promise ;) (Y'all have my Tumblr. Joooooinnnn meeee)


End file.
